Moral Outrage of EyeStar Seagull

EyeStar Seagull gloomily stared at the television as she flipped channels. “What is this country…

EyeStar Seagull gloomily stared at the television as she flipped channels.

“What is this country coming to,” she said to her naukarani Rasika, the only one around who listened to her any more, “I see rallies of this Modi guy in Bihar and he is saying development, development and all these excited youngsters are climbing over each other to see him. They want to wear suit-boot!Is this what we worked for all these years?”

“Indira Gandhi had said garibi hatao. Garibi…that was what was important. For decades and decades the garib voted us in. And this Modi, this terrible man, he wants to not have any poor people. What a fascist idea, this development is. They will all get gadgets, get on Twitter, and become Internet Hindus. Who would vote for us? And where will our servants come from?”

She glanced quickly at her nuakarani, who stood there nodding her head, happy to get a little break from her work when the memsahib wanted her to listen to her blabber.

“You don’t understand a word of what I am saying, do you?” she continued in English, as Rasika hid a smirk, not willing to disabuse the memsahib of her opinions. “And the gall of this man, this low class fellow, this chaiwallah, why his mother was a servant just like you. Imagine, just imagine him wearing a suit and strutting about like he went to Oxford or something and having tea with the American President. Tea. Does he know anything about tea? Well, let me tell you. I went to Woodstock School, and to Wellesley College. I know.”

That reminded her. “Tukya khadi khadi dekhrahi hai?” she shouted to Rasika. “Isiliye paise milte hain. Get me my tea. Ja chai banakar la.” Yeh log, these people, she muttered under her breath. “They are lazy and ignorant. And what nonsense does this Modi say about ‘aspirational India.’ These villagers are meant to be servants. They don’t even know how to use a knife and fork and they eat with their mouths open. Did they go to Woodstock and Wellesley? Good for nothings.”

“But who listens to me anymore, to culture, to real literature.  Years since I had a book out, no one outside some English students doing Ph.D.’s in ‘Indian writing in English’ even know my name.” She flipped the channel again and saw TV anchor Rain Dirt pontificating on mob violence in UP and its link to Hindutva fascism. “Why the last time I was on TV was when I got that Sahitya Akademi award.  I had worked hard for it too,” she said, remembering how she had to nag the Chairman and use the clout of her relationship to the first family. “And now, they don’t even call me on TV. What use is this award?”

She stared hard at her mantelpiece as she absent-mindedly polished the brass plate with the award citation. She didn’t even like what they stupid thing looked like, “these Indians have no art. I should just give this away.”

Suddenly a fresh thought entered her long-stale head and she perked up, a smile creasing her wrinkled cheeks.  “Hey Rasika,” she shouted, “Get me my diary. No not that one you stupid girl, my address book.”

She quickly snatched the book from the girl and thumbed through the pages. “Showtime! Time to get back on TV. This old award can still be squeezed for a last hurrah. After all the work I had done for it. Eyestar would show them, she can still be the star in their eyes. I’ll call up Rain Dirt, maybe even Oceanika Ghost.  I have a big announcement. I am going to return my award.”

Sankrant Sanu is an entrepreneur, author and researcher based in Seattle and Gurgaon. His essays in the book “Invading the Sacred” contested Western academic writing on Hinduism. He is a graduate of IIT Kanpur and the University of Texas and holds six technology patents. His latest book is “The English Medium Myth.” He blogs at .
  • sa

    eyestar, rain dirt, coeanika…. awesome… should have included kinglamp too 😛

  • Indian

    Did you read the GREAT POET UDAY SOMETHING…Never Heard of Lal Kacha Poet. He Got award for

    Ranga Billa do Bhai Nahin the
    Phir bhee unko Phansi Saath Lagee

    Tata Birla Dono Bhai hain
    Phir bhee Unko Phasi nahin lagee

    Bloody NO IQ RED PIGS

  • Shankar M

    Ha ha that’s a good one

  • Badal

    The great Chanakya is supposed to have said ” When the exclusive club of intellectuals in the county start getting restless and jittery and unleash their ire at the ruler for all the wrong reasons , take it that the ruler is heading in the right direction .”

    • Indian

      Sirjee Read the article in MediaCrooks, real Hard Hitting on these LAAL KACCHAs who called Netaji TOJO’d Dog and Italian pimps, real Exposure on these Bunch of street Jokers


      Supposed by whom ? This is the kind of nonsense which is spread by the ignorant or the unwilling to think.

  • Pitambar Gupta

    Brilliant satire. So true.

  • sourabh bhattacharya

    Eyestar, oceanika ghost, hahaha…

  • suru

    Brilliant satirical presentation…specially the words”how she had to nag the Chairman and use the clout of her relationship to the first family.” and …….”This old award can still be squeezed for a last hurrah”

    This is what happened before they received the award and now want to squeeze for the last hurrah.

  • vavamenon

    So happy, seeing such a magnificent satirical presentation of the congress chamchas AFTER A LONG TIME…….
    Waiting for more such insightfull posts……..

  • guest

    Indiafacts staff: please know that a click on ‘about us’ leads to a generic site…please make sure your connections are working —many people want to contribute and connect….in the long run it will also help with the funds. thanks,

  • Sujata Srinath

    Simple and direct…where is the satire?!! Wonderful to read…be careful though, there are a lot of returned Kultural Academy awards begging to be given away!:)

  • guest

    Oceanika Ghost…..Ha, ha….great piece!!

  • NK Sarma

    nice satirical piece, but it is very likely the real incident.