Dear Arvind Kejriwal, L Ramdas and other members and ex-members of AAP:
Arvind Kumar has been appointed as the External Lokpal and third party mediator to resolve the conflict in the Aam Aadmi Party.
All of you who are part of AAP can tell me everything. Don’t feel diffident when you communicate with me. I can solve every problem for you. Each side is advised to lay down its charges against the other faction and I will give you a fair hearing and pass my judgment after careful consideration of the facts.
For a start, here are the summary of charges against members of one faction and one member of the other faction which will be heard by the Internet Court of Justice.
- L Ramdas:The main charge is TREASON and weakening of the armed forces as the first nuclear powered submarine in the Indian Navy, INS Chakra, was decommissioned when the Accused headed the Indian Navy. The Accused is connected to the CIA affiliate Ford Foundation through his daughter who is also suspected of connections to the ISI as she is allegedly married to a Pakistani national. Whether the weakening of the armed forces was a deliberate act due to the alleged ISI/CIA connections will be determined during the trial.
- MedhaPatkar:Accused of being an American agent controlled by the International Rivers Network (IRN). Evidence entered along with the charges include emails with the IRN which are available on the internet.
- Yogendra Yadav:Accused of being a beneficiary of money given by the CIA affiliate Ford Foundation.
- Prashant Bhushan:Accused of pushing the ISI and CIA agenda of breaking away Jammu and Kashmir from India.
- Manish Sisodia:Accused of abetting the murder of a farmer. Accused of being a beneficiary of funds funnelled into India by the CIA affiliate Ford Foundation.
Gentlemen of the jury, you will be asked to determine whether the accused are guilty of being CIA stooges or guilty of being ISI stooges. Until you determine their guilt, they will be presumed innocent.
As regards Accused #4, the jury is advised to consider the claim that he has already received suitable punishment in the form of a beating.
* This is a judicial appointment as Arvind Kumar has been appointed by the Internet Court of Justice**.
** The Internet Court of Justice was founded by Arvind Kumar.
PS: Apart from key members of the Aam Aadmi Party, other members include those people of the public specially chosen to be members of the jury.
(Needless to say, this is a satirical piece based on the recent and past record of the AamAadmi Party)